Worst Superhero Ever.

  • Florida Man Steals Bird, Attacks Mom, 2 Sons, Burns down Mobile Home

    [CITRUS COUNTY] – A Florida man was arrested after burning down a mobile home and assaulting the family inside last week. 59-year old William Gonsisko, who lives down the street from the victims, was found by police holding the family’s pet bird. Melinda Ward says Gonsisko hit her in the face and arm with a shovel. […] More

  • Florida Woman Attacks 7-Eleven Clerk with Nacho Cheese

    [MELBOURNE] – A Florida woman faces battery charges after throwing hot nacho cheese at a 7-Eleven clerk. 31-year old Stephanie Hicks, walked into the Melbourne convenience store at about 2am on Thursday to purchase a sandwich and a cup of nacho cheese. The clerk told Hicks not to open the cheese dispenser for some reason, but Hicks […] More

  • Florida Man Swallows Marijuana Stash to Avoid Jail, Goes to Jail

    [FRUITLAND PARK] –  A Florida Man was arrested after swallowing his marijuana stash in hopes of avoiding jail. 27-year old Jose Ferrer Morales was pulled over after speeding in an SUV on County Road 466A in Fruitland Park. When the deputy approached Morales, he appeared nervous and was lighting a cigarette. The officer noticed a […] More

  • Florida Man Uses Confederate Flag as Weapon

    [HOLLYWOOD] – A Florida Man has been arrested on multiple charges including inciting a riot after threatening a crowd of people at Hollywood City Hall. The crowd gathered in support of removing Confederate Generals names from city streets. The man, identified as 21-year-old Christopher Monzon, threatened and charged at the crowd while brandishing a Confederate flagpole. […] More

  • Florida Man Arrested for 26th Time

    [SANTA ROSA COUNTY] – A Florida Man has been arrested for the 26th time, amassing a photo album of different mugshots. 32-year old Nathan Holder, was most recently arrested on failure to appear and fraud impersonation charges. Holder’s mugshots show a variety of different looks over the years, including multiple hair and beard styles. He also […] More

  • Florida Man Stuffs Over $1000 in Rectum

    [MARION COUNTY] – According to Marion County Deputies, A Florida Man shoved more than $1000 cash up his butt after being arrested. It all started when 26 year old Pattreon Stokes was pulled over in in the early hours of the morning on a speeding charge. The deputy who pulled him over noticed the smell of […] More

  • Florida Man on the Run After Defecating Behind Local Business

    [CRESTVIEW] – Crestview police are on the lookout for a Florida Man who defecated behind a local jewelry store. Dubbed “CrapperMan” by locals, Security footage from the business shows the shirtless, bearded man dropping his pants. According to the Crestview Police Facebook page, the man has been identified and an arrest warrant is in the process […] More

  • Florida Man Arrested for Stealing Car When he Stops to Look at Eclipse

    [KISSIMMEE] – After stealing a car, a Florida Man decided the total eclipse was too important to miss out on, getaway be damned. According to deputies, Jocsan Rosado stole the vehicle, then stopped at a hardware store to purchase a welding mask so he could watch the eclipse. After police ran the car’s plate, Rosado was […] More

  • Florida Man hits 17 Cars While Trying to Park

    A Florida Man faces DUI charges after striking not 1, not 2 – but 17 vehicles at an Osceola County Apartment complex. The Gate Apartments in Davenport called police reporting an impaired driver who had struck a total of 17 vehicles while driving a blue 2003 Chevy Blazer. Tony Futch, the man behind the wheel […] More

  • Florida Man Drives Burning Car, Then Shoots at it

    [FORT PIERCE] – A Florida Man is in Jail after kicking a burning car, driving it around, and shooting at it. Witnesses say 24 year old Marcos Gonzalez-Salinas was speeding around in the vehicle, which belonged to his girlfriend. After some time had passed, the car, a blue Cadillac, caught on fire. Attempting to put the […] More

  • Drunken Florida Woman Bites Fisherman’s Line, Swims Away

    [ST. AUGUSTINE] – A Florida Man was fishing in St. Augustine when a Florida Woman cursed at him, bit his fishing line, and swam off with it. According to Deputies, the incident occurred Tuesday evening. 22 year old Alexandria Turner was asked to come to the pier office after biting the mans line. She became belligerent […] More

  • Florida Man Arrested After Cocaine-Fueled Corvette Chase

    [OCALA] – A Florida Man was arrested after leading police on a chase with speeds clocking in at 100 miles per hour. David Whitlow faces multiple charges including driving under the influence and possession of marijuana and cocaine. Police received a call about a red Corvette driving recklessly on SW 60th Avenue in Ocala. The deputy […] More

  • Florida Man Offers Cop $10000 to go Free, Gets Another Charge Instead

    A Florida Man’s attempt to bribe a cop landed him in jail along with an additional charge. Michael Schaedel was pulled over by Tampa police after being seen driving erratically – blocking a crosswalk at a stop, and then peeling out with tires screeching. He was also found going over the speed limit. After being […] More

  • Florida Man Beats Accused Rapist, Drags Him to Deputy

    [GREENACRES] –  A Florida Man delivered some vigilante justice after hearing that a 13-year old had been raped. The mother of the 13-year old called Dennis Padilla Vindel, whose relationship is redacted from police records, after someone spotted the girl running into a neighbors home. She was running from Roberto Rubio, the accused rapist. When […] More

  • Florida Man Brags on Snapchat About Stolen Gun, Gets Arrested

    [PANAMA CITY BEACH] – A Florida man faces charges after Snapchat posts show he allegedly stole a gun. Police records say 19-year old Jeffrey Parker and a minor stole a loaded gun from the Island Reserve Condos in Panama City beach on Wednesday. The following day the victim received a call claiming the suspects posted […] More

  • Florida Man Sets Scooter on Fire Because He ‘Got Mad at it’

    ST. PETE BEACH – A drunk Florida Man got mad at his scooter – so naturally, he set it on fire. Deputies received a report of a fire on the 8600 block of Blind Pass road. What they found when they got there was a flaming 2016 Taizhou scooter, or what was left of it. […] More

  • Florida Man Wields Samurai Sword During Road Rage Incident

    [BROOKSVILLE] – A road rage argument resulted in a Florida Man pulling out a samurai sword. It started when Daniel Seymour went for a drive to deal with his anger after a fight with his wife. Unfortunately, Seymour decided to take his anger out on other drivers. Police say Seymour began brake-checking a vehicle behind […] More

  • Florida Man Robs Store, Then Shoots Himself

    [OCALA] – A Masked Florida Man’s robbery ended with him shooting himself. Robbery suspect, 33-year old Rodney Snow, was taken to the Intensive care unit at Ocala Regional Medical center. He is believed to be behind multiple robberies in adjacent counties. After robbing a Citgo gas station, Snow was spotted by a deputy who instructed […] More

  • Florida Man Uses Hammerhead Shark as a Beer Bong

    [TAMPA] – A disturbing video showing a group of people on a boat pouring beer into a hammerhead shark’s gills may be connected to other similar videos of shark abuse. The video, taken with Snapchat, was posted to a fishing page on Facebook, captioned “Who needs a beer bong”. Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission are […] More

  • Naked Florida Man Says He Robbed Bank Because He’s Trying To Be A Comedian

    [MIAMI] – A naked Florida Man who robbed a bank, then ran down the street throwing money into the air told police he was trying to “begin his career as a comedian”. 25-year old Alexander Hayden Sperber was arrested after robbing the Regions Bank at 100 Southeast 3rd Ave. Police reports say that Sperber demanded money, […] More

  • Florida Man Charged After Molesting Horse

    [VALPARAISO] – A Florida Man is under arrest after molesting a horse and possibly having multiple sexual encounters with it. 26-year old Darius Galloway was caught on camera having sex with the horse. He faces multiple charges including sexual activities involving animals, burglary and petit theft. The encounters appear to have started back in April, […] More

  • Florida Man Drives His Jeep Off Dock

    Sponsored by Clearwater Sponsored by Crash Sponsored by Driver Sponsored by Drunk Sponsored by DUI Sponsored by Fail Sponsored by Jeep Sponsored by Largo Sponsored by Vehicles [CLEARWATER] – A Florida Man faces DUI charges after driving his Jeep off a dock. 21-year old Ryan Jones of Largo, approached a fork in the road. Instead of […] More

  • Florida Man Tries To Steal Police Car With Officer Inside

    [FORT PIERCE] – A Florida Man was arrested after attempting to steal a police car – with a police officer inside it. According to the officer, he opened his vehicle door and saw 20-year old Aaron Orlando Rodriguez inside. The officer had left the car running, so Rodriguez saw an opportunity to steal it. The […] More

  • Florida Man Arrested After Yelling, Dragging Table into Street

    [VERO BEACH] – A Florida Man was arrested after yelling, waving a cane and dragging a table into the street. 70-year old Dale Martin Reynolds was charged with disorderly conduct after police received complaints of him harassing residents. Police were able to calm the man down temporarily, but he began yelling loudly at deputies before dragging […] More

  • Florida Woman Attacks Brother With Chicken Nuggets

    [BRADENTON] – A Florida Woman faces charges after an attack with chicken nuggets. 20-year old Asia Iesha Jimenez was feeding her son, when Jimenez’s brother took some of his food. Upset by this, Jimenez pelted her brother with the chicken nuggets, before a full blow fight began. The two threw punches at each other before their […] More

  • Florida Man With Meth in Pocket Threatens Workers With Weed Eater

    [OKALOOSA COUNTY] – Florida Man found with meth in his pocket has been arrested after threatening utility workers with a weed eater. 32-year old Austin Hopper was cutting grass along a road on U.S. Highway 98 near Destin, when utility workers showed up to install an underground pipe. Upset by this for some reason, Hopper approached one […] More

  • Elderly Florida Man Covers Girlfriend In Sex Lube, Beats Her Up After Refusing Sex

    [CLEARWATER] – An elderly Florida Man has been arrested after dousing his girlfriend in sex lube and attacking her because she refused sex with him. 77-year old Roger Archambault squirted the lubricant on his girlfriend Carmen Reineck, after she declined to have sex in their Clearwater apartment. After getting into an argument earlier regarding family matters, […] More

  • Florida Man Claiming To Have AIDS Brandishes Needle

    [ORLANDO] – A Florida Man claiming to have AIDS while pointing a needle at a loss prevention officer has been arrested. According to the security officer of an Orlando Home Depot, 47-year old Dennis Hamlett removed 2 Bosch grinders from their packaging, put them into his pants and walked out of the store. When the security […] More

  • High-Speed Chase Ends with Naked Florida Man Atop Bleachers

    [APALACHICOLA] – A Florida Man who led police on a high-speed chase, stripped naked and ran to the top of a set of bleachers has been arrested. According to police, Andrew David Blake, of St. Petersburg, was seen speeding through neighborhoods at 70 mph in a Camaro. Police pursued Blake, and after catching up with him, […] More

  • Florida Man Sent Photos of His Genitals to Local Real Estate Agents

    [PINELLAS PARK] – A Florida Man was arrested Friday after sending sexual messages and photos of his genitals to a 73-year old woman. The woman, an unidentified real estate agent, contacted police after receiving the text messages from an unknown person. When she replied to the messages, she received pictures of a man’s genitals. After an […] More

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